Monday, November 21, 2011

Can't Believe This...

I have been waiting to post this...but I went to my first appt on 11/16/11. I was 8w5d and baby measured 6w4d and no heartbeat. Baby stopped growing at 6w4d is what my doctor figured. I seen the baby on the ultrasound screen and could not believe this..this baby we longed for so long..was with us for a short period of time and we already loved her/him and could not invision this happening! The worst part, was when the nurse told me it was a "fetal demise" and going home to tell my husband why I did not get pictures. My mom cried with me at the doctors..but I still do not know why this happened to us. I let my husband sleep more that day..he got up after my mom left and I just cried and cried and cried not knowing what else to do. My husband cried alot also, something I rarely see him do. I had to make an appointment for a consult to get the d&c surgery done. The nurse called me (i got my levels checked to see where they were at) my levels came back at 33,785 and I asked for a picture for my husband. Our baby's picture is on our fridge, where it will remain for a long time. The d&c surgery is in 2 days..and I just don't know what to feel..i did not think this would happen to us..but i guess god decideds when the time is right..I don't blame him because he is not cruel and does not punish you..this is kind of a blessing in a disguise I guess you could say.

On another note..we paid off 3 bills that we had been trying to--my credit card, my husband'd credit card and my old verizon bill. we just freed $400 up a month! yesss! feels good. My mom is coming up wednesday or thursday to help me after my i hope i have a good and fast recovery.

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